uninvited gay thoughts

[shiseido]

[first things first she's the realest.

shitty lyrics put aside, Isuke Inukai legitimately is the realest (according to her, at least) and she ain't afraid to let people know it. not everyone agrees but ha ha like their opinions matter!! hairflip, sneer, naw— everything head to toe about Isuke practically screams self-absorbed narcissist. on that much, everyone can agree.

on the opposite side of the spectrum is Nio Hashiri, midget freak who... well, that's all there is to it.

that's all there should be to it, but lately the aforementioned self-absorbed narcissist had found her eyes moving from the mirror to that freaky blonde kid sitting on the other side of the classroom. Isuke doesn't spare her attention to anyone else. it's unheard of. and yet...

hm. well. it's unsettling, to say the least.

maybe the problem could've fixed itself if they weren't assigned to do a project together. whatever the class is, Isuke doesn't care for it and she doesn't intend to waste any effort on this thing she's supposed to do with Nio Hashiri. they're in her single dorm (ofc she'd pay extra to not have a roommate), Isuke sitting crosslegged on the sofa and filing her nails. you know, instead of working or helping Nio out.]

If you need any help be sure to ask Isuke, okay?

[ l a u g h s ]

That was a joke, in case you're too dense to tell. ♥

[yeah, that oughta be rid of those INTRUSIVE GAY THOUGHTS (to put it bluntly)]

Comments

[smellykid]

Why wouldn't I be? I got to see something nice and I get to spend time with you, Miss Isuke.

[ Nio cracks yet another big, wide, smirk. It's obvious she isn't even trying to hide her amusement, even if it puts her at risk of an Isuke styled beating. Seriously. That kid is dangerous and only an idiot would cross her so often.

Oh. Right. ]

Is that okay?

[shiseido]

What're you trying to do, flatter me? You make my skin crawl.

[said with an insincere smile, of course, because it's only the truth!! intrusive gay thoughts aside. it doesn't even make sense goddamnit. at least Isuke doesn't have to make up any excuses as to why she's being especially nasty towards Nio since being a ripe bitch is her modus operandi.]

Go crawl back to the gutter where you came from. ♥

[smellykid]

Well that's depressing. I thought someone like you would be able to stomach my company.

[ What does that mean? Who knows? It is a mystery. ]

If I crawl back to the gutter then will you finish the report?

[shiseido]

Excuse me? [eyetwitch. vague irritation. irritation growing.]

Shut up and do the report before I decide to pull all your teeth out. ♥

[smellykid]

Whaaaa? Did you do something that you need to be excused for?

[ Lookin' all kinds of curious right now. Clearly she is SOOOOOO concerned that she could have offended Isukers. ]

Annnnd yeah, sure, okay, noted! I'll do the report and deny you the chance to indulge in your weirdo hobbies.

[shiseido]

[ok she's coming over for real now.

and yanking hard on that piece of hair sticking from the top of Nio's head. yank. yank. yankyankyank.]

Would you like to say that again?

[smellykid]

[ Nio had already turned away by the time Isuke got there - totally as if she wasn't even worried!!! The tugging on her antenner makes her squeak in fright, though there's a hint of a laugh there. Either she doesn't know she's in danger or she just isn't worried. ]

Heeeeelp! I'm being oppressed! Somebody save me from my abusive wife!

[shiseido]

Shut your mouth, trash! Don't you dare call Isuke your wife!

[she yanks harder like she's actually trying to pull it off for real. so scary.

it's still too soon for marriage!!!! no wait.]

[smellykid]

Huuuuuusband then?!

[ Owowowoowow flail flail flaaaail don't rip it! ]

Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!

[shiseido]

You just never know the right thing to say, do you? ♥

[ugh, there's no point to this...! she gives Nio one last yank and lets her go, turning her nose up and going back to the couch to be useless.]

[smellykid]

I love you too, Isuke.

[ She doesn't, obviously, because who could love someone like Isuke? Apart from Isuke herself, naturally. She just likes being a pest a fuck, alright? ]

Was that the right thing to say?

[shiseido]

[oh. gross. she felt a lil pinch in that lump of dirt she calls a heart when Nio says the L word and Isuke quickly covers it up with a blasé hairflip.]

I wouldn't consider ass-kissing much better than what you were doing before.

[which was being a midget freak. or something like that.]

[smellykid]

Ehhh?

[ She turns around in her seat, all smiles and ready to annoy some more. ]

You're into that sort of thing? I'd have thought you liked navels more, honestly.

[ Annnd back to work?! ]

[shiseido]

Listen carefully: shut up and finish the report. ♥

[meanwhile Isuke's gonna continue doing what she does best— being entirely unhelpful and useless.]

If you do as I say, I'll reconsider ripping that antenna of yours right off.

[smellykid]

Don't rip it off! I need that to receive orders, don't you know? Rip that off and I can't do anything for you.

[shiseido]

Is that so? Then maybe I should rip something else out instead? Maybe your tongue, so you can't talk back to me. ♥

[smellykid]

Isuke, what're you planning on doing with my tongue when you have it?

[ Wait for it...! ]

If you want me to give you some tongue then you just have to buy me dinner first. Bwahaha!

[ Stupidly unsexy snickering. How irritatingly on purpose. ]

[shiseido]

[gagging. maybe. yes. seriously, Isuke has no idea where those feelings— the other ones, not the intense annoyance and disgust, even came from.]

I'm going to throw up if you keep saying crap like that.

[smellykid]

Gross, but since this is your house and not mine? I won't even try to stop you.

[ A beat. A beat and some bracket filler. ]

I could hold your hair back though, if you want.

[shiseido]

How kind of you to offer. But no.

[sarcasm. ya heard.]

Are you even close to finishing the report?

[smellykid]

I'd be closer if I had the help of a lovely, charming, cool, sexy lady such as yourself, Isuke.

[ Will flattery work this time?? ]

[shiseido]

[she covers her face with one hand and looks the other way. not because she's embarrassed!! but because that was so goddamn embarrassing.

no wait.]

I though I already made it clear that I'm not interested in this stupid project. ♥

[smellykid]

[ Bullseye...! Sort of. Even if Nio can't say exactly why Isuke did the ancient internet art of le facepalm, a reaction is a reaction, right?

Right. Exactly. Totally and utterly. Which means she's getting somewhere on the whole 'break the stalemate and make something interesting happen' front. Best case scenario she gets kicked out and Isuke does the work.

Worst case? She gets to see Isuke all mad and junk which is funny enough to warrant being thrown out and forced to do all the work on her own.

With that in mind, it's time to push more buttons. ]

If you're not interested in the report then maybe you'll help 'cause you're interested in me?

[ Laugh! ]

Not!

[shiseido]

[god no, she was perfectly fine squashing her stupid feelings (what are feelings??? we just don't know) down and contemplating squashing Nio's face instead. with her foot. you know the drill.

she sharply inhales, hand dragging down her chin in a motion clearly meant to say I hate you so much shut the hell up or something along those lines, and... still doesn't look at Nio. that window over there sure is interesting!!]

I'd rather do the report than you.

[heh. heh. heh.]

[smellykid]

So, what, if I throw myself at you in all of my scrawny glory then you'll do the report instead?

[ Loud, obnoxious, fake, and annoying hmmmmmmming. What a pest. ]

Y'know somethin'? I might actually like those odds.