uninvited gay thoughts

[shiseido]

[first things first she's the realest.

shitty lyrics put aside, Isuke Inukai legitimately is the realest (according to her, at least) and she ain't afraid to let people know it. not everyone agrees but ha ha like their opinions matter!! hairflip, sneer, naw— everything head to toe about Isuke practically screams self-absorbed narcissist. on that much, everyone can agree.

on the opposite side of the spectrum is Nio Hashiri, midget freak who... well, that's all there is to it.

that's all there should be to it, but lately the aforementioned self-absorbed narcissist had found her eyes moving from the mirror to that freaky blonde kid sitting on the other side of the classroom. Isuke doesn't spare her attention to anyone else. it's unheard of. and yet...

hm. well. it's unsettling, to say the least.

maybe the problem could've fixed itself if they weren't assigned to do a project together. whatever the class is, Isuke doesn't care for it and she doesn't intend to waste any effort on this thing she's supposed to do with Nio Hashiri. they're in her single dorm (ofc she'd pay extra to not have a roommate), Isuke sitting crosslegged on the sofa and filing her nails. you know, instead of working or helping Nio out.]

If you need any help be sure to ask Isuke, okay?

[ l a u g h s ]

That was a joke, in case you're too dense to tell. ♥

[yeah, that oughta be rid of those INTRUSIVE GAY THOUGHTS (to put it bluntly)]

Comments

[smellykid]

Huuuuuusband then?!

[ Owowowoowow flail flail flaaaail don't rip it! ]

Sorrysorrysorrysorrysorry!

[shiseido]

You just never know the right thing to say, do you? ♥

[ugh, there's no point to this...! she gives Nio one last yank and lets her go, turning her nose up and going back to the couch to be useless.]

[smellykid]

I love you too, Isuke.

[ She doesn't, obviously, because who could love someone like Isuke? Apart from Isuke herself, naturally. She just likes being a pest a fuck, alright? ]

Was that the right thing to say?

[shiseido]

[oh. gross. she felt a lil pinch in that lump of dirt she calls a heart when Nio says the L word and Isuke quickly covers it up with a blasé hairflip.]

I wouldn't consider ass-kissing much better than what you were doing before.

[which was being a midget freak. or something like that.]

[smellykid]

Ehhh?

[ She turns around in her seat, all smiles and ready to annoy some more. ]

You're into that sort of thing? I'd have thought you liked navels more, honestly.

[ Annnd back to work?! ]

[shiseido]

Listen carefully: shut up and finish the report. ♥

[meanwhile Isuke's gonna continue doing what she does best— being entirely unhelpful and useless.]

If you do as I say, I'll reconsider ripping that antenna of yours right off.

[smellykid]

Don't rip it off! I need that to receive orders, don't you know? Rip that off and I can't do anything for you.

[shiseido]

Is that so? Then maybe I should rip something else out instead? Maybe your tongue, so you can't talk back to me. ♥

[smellykid]

Isuke, what're you planning on doing with my tongue when you have it?

[ Wait for it...! ]

If you want me to give you some tongue then you just have to buy me dinner first. Bwahaha!

[ Stupidly unsexy snickering. How irritatingly on purpose. ]

[shiseido]

[gagging. maybe. yes. seriously, Isuke has no idea where those feelings— the other ones, not the intense annoyance and disgust, even came from.]

I'm going to throw up if you keep saying crap like that.

[smellykid]

Gross, but since this is your house and not mine? I won't even try to stop you.

[ A beat. A beat and some bracket filler. ]

I could hold your hair back though, if you want.

[shiseido]

How kind of you to offer. But no.

[sarcasm. ya heard.]

Are you even close to finishing the report?

[smellykid]

I'd be closer if I had the help of a lovely, charming, cool, sexy lady such as yourself, Isuke.

[ Will flattery work this time?? ]

[shiseido]

[she covers her face with one hand and looks the other way. not because she's embarrassed!! but because that was so goddamn embarrassing.

no wait.]

I though I already made it clear that I'm not interested in this stupid project. ♥

[smellykid]

[ Bullseye...! Sort of. Even if Nio can't say exactly why Isuke did the ancient internet art of le facepalm, a reaction is a reaction, right?

Right. Exactly. Totally and utterly. Which means she's getting somewhere on the whole 'break the stalemate and make something interesting happen' front. Best case scenario she gets kicked out and Isuke does the work.

Worst case? She gets to see Isuke all mad and junk which is funny enough to warrant being thrown out and forced to do all the work on her own.

With that in mind, it's time to push more buttons. ]

If you're not interested in the report then maybe you'll help 'cause you're interested in me?

[ Laugh! ]

Not!

[shiseido]

[god no, she was perfectly fine squashing her stupid feelings (what are feelings??? we just don't know) down and contemplating squashing Nio's face instead. with her foot. you know the drill.

she sharply inhales, hand dragging down her chin in a motion clearly meant to say I hate you so much shut the hell up or something along those lines, and... still doesn't look at Nio. that window over there sure is interesting!!]

I'd rather do the report than you.

[heh. heh. heh.]

[smellykid]

So, what, if I throw myself at you in all of my scrawny glory then you'll do the report instead?

[ Loud, obnoxious, fake, and annoying hmmmmmmming. What a pest. ]

Y'know somethin'? I might actually like those odds.

[shiseido]

[jeeeezus no she'd rather wear sweatpants in public than have Nio hitting on her.

maybe.]

No, if you throw yourself at me I'll break your legs and you'll still do the report.

[smellykid]

Hahaha.... haha... ha... why do I get the impression that I shouldn't push my luck here?

[ She's not really asking, though she is kind of nervous after hearing that. She'll just turn back around and scribble some more words onto whatever page she's working on. ]

So... what if I do the report and then throw myself at you?

[shiseido]

Is this your pathetic attempt at hitting on me? Frankly, I've heard better lines from wasted frat boys.

[super top secret: she'd take Nio over any of those frat dudes. and not just because Isuke is Isugay.]

[smellykid]

So it's my lines that're ruining my chances?

[ As opposed to her winning personality, sneaky face, and general smell of rotten sea air. ]

Meh. You're not really my type, so I'm not too upset, wehehe.

[shiseido]

[no shut up!!]

Hm? Oh, of course. Trash belongs with trash, after all. ♥

[smellykid]

You sure do.

[ Muttered under her breath but.... still totally loud enough for Isuke to hear. Scribble scribble doing work on the report l o l. ]

[shiseido]

[wow wow WOW WHAT WAS THAT HUH

don't look behind you now, Nio, there's a shadow looming over you.

also a hand suddenly grabbing that hair antennae but that's expected.]

Oh, really?

[smellykid]

[ Nervously tensing up when she sees the shadow just doesn't help out all that much. Nio can't do jack to stop her hair getting grabbed, tugged, and generally mistreated. Ah, Isuke, why so cruel? ]

Nonononono, I'm sorry! You're a goddess, a lovely, lovely love goddess! Please spare me!