my eyebrows are not expendable

[shipwrecking]

[Murasa's not a troublemaker, per se, she just... tends to make trouble. sometimes. sort of. look, being an honor student is for chumps, alright? and Murasa's not about to waste her teenage years being a NERD.

she'd been booted from the water polo club weeks ago for her shitty academics. that's where the bulk of her schoolwide reputation comes from, sadly enough, so now most students know her as that former captain who needs after school tutoring. it's only funny because Murasa doesn't seem to care much, as long as she skates by on the minimum and eventually graduates.

life is an anime... or something!! something about hedonism, maybe? point being, Murasa gets her kicks out of being a shit when teachers look the other way.

for example, today she somehow managed to sneak a goat into the school and lead it into the student council room. it's eating all the paperwork jfc why is this happening—]

Comments

they are tho

[ballot]

[ thankfully(?), this is one of the few days the president decides to stop by the councilroom, likely to pick up some forgotten Magic: The Gathering cards or whatnot. as she expects it to be empty at this time, upon entrance the goat definitely gives her... pause. it's a few seconds before she spots the likely cause of this mess.

her face lights with delight (or something else, potentially sinister), hands clapping together, and she's quick to encroach. ]

Aaah, Mu-chan...!♪

[ there's no way she couldn't know the name of... people who "tend to make trouble", all right. beyond higher-ups, it might just be the only names she bothers to learn (and still butcher into a nickname). ]

I see you've brought us a gift...!

excuse U

[shipwrecking]

AHHHH.

[that? that was the sound not of someone horrified they'd been caught, but of someone who just saw something unpleasant. like a large bug. or the student council president.

Murasa grabs the goat and shakes it a little; the goat placidly chews on crumpled papers, looking completely unconcerned.]

Sic 'er! Eat her face off!

[... nothing, of course. at least she tried!!]

truth

[ballot]

[ wow rude! ]

[ LAUGHS ]

[ likewise completely unconcerned, she reaches past the goat and murasa, quick to nab that deck. no need to have a goat chew it, as this mess suggests... and ah, these skirts don't have pockets. the unmistakable reaction might also suggest, hey, she's a touch unwanted here. ]

Not a gift?... Mm, but you're kinda lucky it was me who got here first, and not one of my [ cohorts ] councilwomen...

[ yo, she ain't cleaning this shit up this time ]

[shipwrecking]

I could take all of you on! With or without the goat! [probably a lie. Murasa might be fit from water polo but she's more suited for the water than dry land. because she can hold people's heads beneath water more easily than punching someone... or something.

she smugly pats the goat and lean against the wall. totes playing it cool.]

Heh, so what're you gonna do about this? I'm not taking responsibility.

[neener neener]

[ballot]

[ and because what murasa just said is evidently hilarious, the president chuckles again, covering her mouth with a hand. it's muffled, somewhat to herself: ] You must not get out much, huh...

[ just paying tribute to yes, she thinks it's probably a lie. she better surveys the damage, replacing that hand to her hip. ]

Oooh, what a threat...! The President's word against... [ gives her a thorough, up-down glance. ] Well...

[ finish the sentence any which way you would like. ]

[shipwrecking]

[OH NOOOO she didn't think this one through. what a shocker. the goat bleats and Murasa coughs into her fist, her smile nervous.]

There aren't any witnesses. Besides this guy, but he's not gonna say anything.

[the goat bleats again. thank u goat friend.]

And you totally insulted me just now! Didn't you!

[ballot]

I don't think you know how things work 'round here... [ innocently.

but likewise, she's bluffing. not in regards to the legitimacy of her words, per se, but the president really has zero interest in reporting murasa to anyone.

she waves her hand, as if to clear the air. ]

No, no! You imagined that! [ as would someone with some sort of inferiority-complex, she would like to add, but resists in lieu of her previous lie. ] Just pointing out the obvious hierarchy, that's all!

[shipwrecking]

So, then what? You're calling me a peasant? Then that makes you a... an asshole.

[shut up that sounded wittier in her head.

but not really. she takes hold of the goat by the dog collar on his neck and begins to slowly move towards the exit. totally subtle. shush.]

Yeah! Asshole.

[ballot]

... Assholes are above peasants, in your books...?

[ inquired with genuine curiosity! even if that may not have been quite what murasa meant?! and she doesn't pay it much mind. the president mayhaps isn't as stupid as she insists on looking (and acting); she makes sure to plant himself firmly between the door and the girl and her goat.

"firmly" is, perhaps, relative, considering each other's respective physical prowess. but for all intents and purposes, she means it. ]

Uwaahh, you don't think you're leaving, do you?

[shipwrecking]

I'm not a peasant!

[oh, shit. roadblock. she glances between the president and the goat, a moment stretching for what seems like more than a few seconds and

Murasa shoves the goat at the president and makes a break for the window.

they're not on the first floor though, are they.]

[ballot]

[ her famous last words, i'm not a peasant. ones she shall misquote for her obituary... for they are, in fact, on the twelfth floor of the high school.

just kidding it's probably like. the fourth floor. anyway, the goat serves as a momentary successful distraction. but only momentary; its disturbing cuteness only gets it so far!! ]

H-Hey—

[ SHOVES THE GOAT THE FUCK ASIDE, LUNGING FOR HER LEGS ]

What the hell are you doing?!

[shipwrecking]

[CAUGHT... dangling half out the window, trying to push herself out the rest of the way.

someone passing by down below looks up, realizes it's Murasa, and continues walking.]

I'm making my grand escape, obviously! Let go!

[ballot]

[ THIS FUCKIN' TROUBLE-MAKER... how dare she fluster her like this!

in response to her words, the president naturally tightens her grip. and digs her heels into the floor, attempting to pull back. she's also markedly more distressed than this icon lets on. ]

No freakin' way...! Do you have a death wish!

[ think of the goat children you'll leave behind!! ]

[shipwrecking]

I'd rather die a hero than be caught a criminal!

[??????? well ok then.

success on the president's part— Murasa's grip on the windowsill slips and she falls back inside. well, that sure lasted long.

behind them, the goat bleats impassively.]

[ballot]

[ she can respect that but ]

[ the president falls back and lands on her ass, respectively. she still insists on clinging to murasa's leg, should there be any... reattempts. ]

[ wipes her brow of nonexistent sweat ]

Ah, you mean die a coward in the face of justice...

[shipwrecking]

[her leg tho. she tries to tug it free from prez's grip, thankfully without any kicking. dwdw Murasa's not gonna try to hurl herself out the window anymore. maybe]

Alright, what if I give you some cash and you keep quiet about this whole thing?

[is she trying to bribe the president

too bad Murass apparently isn't as honorable as her murderous ghost counterpart!!]

[ballot]

[ loosens her hold.. but only a bit. she's going to keep a hand there, deal with it, as she's skeptical of tactics that involve a) hurling oneself out the window or b) making a break for that door. ]

Twenty bucks, and you clean up this mess you made!

[ distress has since been replaced with the typical smirk. ]

And you'll walk outta here, scot-free.

[shipwrecking]

[and then the goat decides to take a shit right there in the room.]

Aw— fuck, I change my mind! No deal!

[ballot]

[ GROSS???? ]

Oh? [ meaningful glance to shit and back to her. well, isn't this just extra incentive to sweeten the deal! ] What do you think you're gonna do otherwise, huh?

[shipwrecking]

Jump out the window.

[she's kidding...]

[ballot]

[ ... TIGHTENS HOLD AGAIN, OI ]

That was never one of your options!

[shipwrecking]

Ahhh, lemme go! The room's starting to stink!

[the goat walks out... goodbye.]

[ballot]

Ahh, what are you, not heroic enough to take it?

[ what's that got to do with dealing with poop... she ignores murasa's request.

also, the goat.. fanatastic. one less trouble thing to deal with here. ]

[shipwrecking]

It really smells! I'm gonna barf on you!

[lol no she won't. can't. basically.]

[ballot]

And make it smell worse? I mean, I knew you were bad at problem-solving, but...!♫

[ she's putting the well-being of the room ahead of murasa's... it's a necessary sacrifice! ]